Thursday, July 14, 2005

The obligatory snarking about All-Star Batman & Robin

Dear Frank Miller:

On the whole, I really enjoy your stuff. I loved Year One, Dark Knight Returns, and Sin City. I even liked Dark Knight Strikes Again, and trust me -- I've taken a lot of shit defending that book to people.

When you defend the benefits of a writer to some of the most vehement detractors this side of Rob Liefeld, you expect some good shit in return.

All I got was shit.

See, it doesn't hurt when Liefeld does shit art for Teen Titans. I expect him to suck. So when he meets my expectations, I don't mind so much.

But you? You used to be so good. I still show Batman: Year One and Dark Knight Returns to the non-comics-reading people I know to get them into Batman.

I used to think you could write powerful women. Carrie Kelley, the ladies of Old Town --

I really enjoyed Sin City -- but was I giving you too much credit in thinking that the girlflesh fanservice and the violence was you being ironic about the sensationalism in pulp novels?

After this issue, I'm starting to think I was.

Dear Jim Lee:

Your backgrounds are as lovely as they were in Hush. As a matter of fact, I think you should do them exclusively.

Because the crap you put in front of them in this issue isn't much to look at, yo.

I do not need ass shots of Vicki Vale. Ever. Not even a little bit. And yet, here she is, spending a good half of her appearance in her underwear.

For the record, I'm sick and tired of this everyone-has-a-few-too-many-vertebrae shit from you and Mike Turner, too.

And did Frank tell you to draw Dick looking down at his murdered parents in the same poses as in Year One?

Dear, you're supposed to hit him when he says dumb shit like that. It would save us all a lot of trouble.

P.S. Leave the EXTREME!!! Mid-90's style hair on women back in Image comics where it belongs.


Signed, me.

I was initially fascinated by the prospect of All-Star Batman & Robin. I had heard that this was essentially going to be Robin: Year One in the DKR universe. Maybe it was morbid curiosity, but I kind of wanted to see what turned Dick Grayson from a 12-year-old orphan into the psychopath in Dark Knight Strikes Again.

If this is the kind of shit I have to wade through to find out, I think I'll pass.


Anonymous Ron said...

Going to the SIN CITY movie pretty much clinched the "too much credit" position for me. Seeing the stories all strung together, as opposed to standing alone the way they had previously, did nothing more than point out how mind-numbingly uniform they were. It's like, dude, if you're going to have four different voice-over narrators, TRY differentiating them at some point beyond "the ugly guy" and "the British guy." The wife and I finally walked out on the neck scene because the violence was just getting too ridiculously disgusting.

But I like this idea of Jim Lee as the new Gerhard, I do.

12:04 PM, July 14, 2005  

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